Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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