Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
