Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize