So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
