Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
