My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
