I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
