The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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