Sponge bath it is.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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