Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
