I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize