even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
worst night to have a conscience
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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