so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
