miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
