Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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