grandma shit on top of the toilet
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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