But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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