I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she told me i tasted like america
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
