I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
