yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
