is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
