only if we run a train.
done.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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