Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
