And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
