yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
