i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
