I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
