I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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