was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
