another moral hangover. fuck.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
