You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
