Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.

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(541): View more from Oregon

i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining

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(734): View more from Michigan

i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.

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(559): View more from California

I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend

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