We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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