I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize