ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
