Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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