Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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