i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
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