oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
