Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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