I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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