My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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