isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
