Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
