the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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