Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
