Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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