batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
