I'm really into asian looking animals
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
