Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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