Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
