I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize