i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
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