you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
what day is it and did you see me today?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
His nipple licking is glorious
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