this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize