O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
