I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
