My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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