All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
