No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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