Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
