We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
